I am sitting here in my daughter’s bedroom waiting while she goes to sleep. My husband is out working. I am listening to the rainfall on the ground outside and the distant sounds of thunder. I have always loved storms. They are somehow calming to me, always reminding me of my God’s power and strength.
The God of the universe who controls the wind and rain sees little old me and loves me unconditionally. I fail often and I mess up even more. I have doubts and fears and failures. Yet, my God, my Lord and Savior loves me. He sustains me!
Many people wonder how I do it. How I stay so positive and uplifted as uncertainties and closed doors often come my way. Well, first of all, you do not see all the tears I shed at home and in my own private times. I try to be strong, but often I am not. I try to be brave, but often I am scared. I try to be hopeful, but often I doubt. I try to be joyful, but often I see only the negative. No, it is not me you see being brave, strong, and full of joy.
Those things come from God and Him alone. Without Him how lost I would be. He makes me brave. He gives me hope. He is my joy. He gives me strength to face tomorrow. God and I have become very close lately. I have tried to do it on my own before, and it has not gone well. I mess up relationships and cater to my weaknesses every time. But with God, the darkness and lies disappear and are replaced with light and Truth.
I am thankful we have a God who cares about us. Who listens to us and can supply our every need. He knows we cannot do life alone. He never meant for us to. That is why we were created – to find fellowship with God. He makes us sufficient, brave, bold, and joyful. He gives us love and peace beyond what we will ever understand. Like a child who is hoisted up by his dad so easily to reach the counter, so our Father can pick us up and carry us when we cannot go on by ourselves. We simply must allow God to help us.
So it is not I with that brave face on ready to smile at the world. I could not do it alone. I am too weak and too scared to face life alone. My life is in God’s capable hands. He supplies all I need, and in Him I find goodness and life. I alone am not able to be the person God has made me to be. But in Him I find victory! He is all I need, my sufficiency. God gives me courage to tell our story and embrace life for all it is – the good, the bad, and the unexplained.
I mentioned that lies disappear when the Truth is at play. Here is some Truth I have found to disperse lies that entrap me at times:
“Not that we are sufficient in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency is from God, who has made us sufficient to be ministers of a new covenant…” 2 Corinthians 3:5-6
“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory…” Ephesians 3:20-21
“I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together withal the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
“For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3