Jordan always wanted to have a girl. Even before we decided to have a child, he wanted a girl. He says it is because he has been around guys his whole life, but I think he just wanted a little look a like princess to dote on. And he got exactly that! When we first found out we were pregnant we were deciding on names. The girl’s name was not even a decision really. We both knew instantly we would name our daughter Abigail if the baby were a girl. And the day we found out it was a girl I thought my husband would burst of excitement (well as excited as Jordan can be). We were supposed to do a small gender reveal with our families, but in all my excitement I let the cat out of the bag instantly to my mom, so everyone knew it was a girl without all the pomp and circumstance.
A girl. At this point I really did not have much of an opinion. I knew nothing about babies (and still don’t), so it did not really matter to me whether we had a girl or a boy. Part of me wanted a boy because in my head a big brother should be the way it is. I am very traditional, and I grew up with a big brother. But a girl. Even though I am a girl I do not know much about hair, fashion, make-up, the latest songs or even what is the ‘in’ thing right now. I just never have been interested in that kind of thing. I knew our poor daughter would miss out on a lot of things that other moms might teach by example. But my mom never did any of those ‘girly’ things and I never felt left out, so I figured maybe our daughter would be okay too.
Then Abigail came into the world and I held her for the first time. They placed all seven pounds of her on my chest. Those eyes just looked at me trying to figure me all out. My baby girl. Abigail never cried or made any noises at all. She just laid there with those big eyes staring straight into mine. I will never forget that moment. Some people may say that moment I was connected with my daughter. But the one thing that has bonded me to her like never before has been staying at home with her. These last few months have given us a bond like nothing I could ever describe. I have learned a lot about her, and I have learned a lot about myself. I have experienced the mother/daughter bond, and I love it!
I dream about having tea parties and playing dress up. I want to make a million Pinterest crafts with Abigail, and teach her how to count. I want to have matching aprons so we can cook dinner for Daddy together. I dream about a lot of things. And for Abigail these may always be dreams. We are not sure what her future will hold. But we still have fun in our own way. We love to go on walks and ‘talking.’ Abigail loves to swing and play in the mirror. She’s a great shopping buddy. She is excellent at dropping all her toys off her high chair tray. And she is the best giggler in the world!! So for now we have fun doing these things, and maybe one day my mommie/daughter dreams will play out and we will have fun doing those things too. But I have learned that having a little girl is so much fun!!
Everyone talks about the father/daughter bond, and I know Abigail and Jordan have their own relationship that Jordan treasures, but I am not Jordan so I cannot write for him. All I can tell you is that there is a very special relationship between mothers and daughters as well. My hope and my prayer is to simply be the woman of God that Abigail needs to model for her as she grows. I want to be her inspiration and her mentor. I do hope she has teachers and leaders in her life that guide her as well. She will need them so much! But I want to be her main teacher. I want her to watch me as I follow God. That is a steep calling for me, but as Abigail’s mother I do not expect anything less of myself.