Our Connection

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I love this picture of us! Our hair is greasy, but those smiles are genuine. We had just recovered from being sick all week and I took Abigail outside to get some fresh air. That smile melted my heart, as it always does!

From the moment that seven pound bundle was placed on my chest I knew my life would never be the same. I was never one to dream about having kids. I never planned to get married really. But God had other plans for me when I met my blonde headed lover. I knew I would spend the rest of my life with this man about a month into dating him. And my man wanted kids. He was the dreamer of the family in that department. So a kid a got! And what a special addition she is to in our lives.

I had no clue what to do with this bundle. Abigail was born about 30 minutes before shift change so after the nurses had us all cleaned up they just left us. Jordan left me to go tell our family all the details and it was just me and Abs for a while in a room alone. I figured all the books said babies are hungry so we tried the whole eating thing and I had no clue what I was doing and literally no one to help me. I barely knew how to hold an hour old baby much less how to care for her needs. So while we had a few minutes alone we simply looked at one another, both trying to figure the other out.

I knew this baby would change my life. She would alter my dreams and my schedules. I still felt wholly unprepared to be a mom, but ready or not I was a mother and there was no turning back. Abigail was the easiest baby ever and for that I am thankful, and oh so very spoiled. Even as a newborn she rarely cried. I had no clue how to breastfeed, but she was a champ. I always say she did all the work, I was just there to hold her. She slept well even early on and she really wasn’t a cuddly baby. We would place her on the floor and do chores or cook dinner and she was as content as could be.

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Those fingers wrapped around mine…it’s a small connection but it means so much!!

When Abigail was about three months old we moved about 45 minutes away to be closer to my family. I helped part-time with my family’s business and my mom and grandma would often keep Abigail and just let me nurse her when she needed to be fed. This was our routine until my husband and I decided to move closer to his family and be nearer to a larger city with more job opportunities and opportunities for Abigail. We made our second move when Abigail was about 1.5 years old. It was then that I became a full-time mom.

Some people would argue that breastfeeding Abigail for a year is what connected us. And while it might have, I also believe if she had been given formula it wouldn’t have been any different. I truly believe our connection started when we made this move and I became the one person Abigail sees most often. I’m the one who wakes her up in the morning and puts her to bed at night. I take her to all her therapies and doctors. We go on errands and to the park. We play and exercise and do everything together.

This connection we have formed is deep and it is strong. When I’m in the room she wants me. She may hug others and laugh for a little bit, but she eventually tires of them and wants her mama. But lately I have noticed that we even reflect each other’s emotions. If I’m feeling sad or mad or upset I have realized Abigail’s isn’t herself. Just yesterday I was running a low fever and not feeling 100% and Abigail was fussy all day. There has been a few times where Abigail has choked very badly on food and I get scared so I end up scaring her and making the situation worse. Thankfully Daddy has always been there to calm us both down. But I have noticed this emotional connection we have lately, and it’s amazing to me that she can pick up on it.

I guess when you spend the amount of time together that Abigail and I do you are bound to learn the person. And Abigail know each other pretty well. Even though she lacks all forms of communication, I can usually figure out what she wants. She has her own way of communicating and I am thankful that we have such a bond that she trusts me to care for her in every way. I don’t know what her future holds, but discovering this deep connection with my daughter gives me confidence that we will be okay no matter if she can never walk or talk.

Just three short years ago I would have told you I would never be a mother, much less a stay at home mom. But now I am a mother to the sweetest girl in the world. And our mother/daughter bond is unbreakable! I want to be the best mother I can be for Abigail. I want you to know I love her and that I’ll always be there for her. And I pray this special bond we have formed continues, no matter what this life may hold for us!

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What is in a Name?

Picking out your child’s name is tough. You have to think about so many factors – does it sound good with your last name? Do you know anyone you don’t like with that name? Does the monogram look cute? Will they get picked on their whole life for this name? Do you name the baby after someone in the family? The list goes on and on. There are books and websites dedicated to helping you pick the best name for your child. How do you pick the perfect name?

When we found out we were pregnant picking out a name was one of the first things we did. We had to pick out the girl name and the boy name. The boy name was

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Our gender announcement!

a lot harder, and I still do not know if I even love it. We knew our son’s middle name would be Jordan after my husband, but we were leaning towards Asher for the first name. Apparently we like names that begin with ‘A’. As for the girl’s name, we knew it instantly without even debating. We both loved the name Abigail. I am not sure why, but it was decided 100% Abigail would be our daughter’s name if we had a girl.

Abigail Paige Lidh. Her name has so much meaning behind it, and I pray she lives up to her name as she grows and matures. Jordan allowed me to pick the middle name Paige. I have always loved it, and it adds so much to her name as I will explain. First, Abigail means ‘her father’s delight’. Well of course she is Jordan’s delight. He loves her so much and she gets so excited when he walks in the room! Those two have a very special relationship and I love it. But then there is the Abigail in the Bible. A strong, wise lady who served David and his men in the face of near destruction for her and her family. A servant through and through. Paige also means to serve. That is what I want for Abigail, for her to have a servant’s heart, and for her to love others and serve them selflessly. The world teaches you to look out for number one, but if we would serve others and treat them as people who God loves then we could make a difference in people’s lives.

And I would be amiss to not mention my favorite part of Abigail’s name – her monogram. APL or apple as I like to say, for she is the apple of our eye. She will always be as our first baby. But as I was reading Psalm one day when I was pregnant I came across this verse. “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings.” Ps. 17:8, NIV. I knew instantly that wImage (2)as to be Abigail’s life verse. I want her to have an intimate relationship with God when the time comes, and to find shelter in Him and not in the things of this world. I want her to be in awe of the One who made her, and trusts Him fully for all things. Such simple, life-changing truths that even I wish I would apply more often. These are the things I pray for my daughter’s life.

Abigail Paige Lidh. There are so many emotions, prayers, and thoughts wrapped up in that one name. It is one of my favorites! And I am so glad that there is more to her name than just what was written on her birth certificate. Do you have a specific reason for naming your child what you named them? I love hearing naming stories!! Please comment and share below!