When Nothing Goes as Planned

Five years ago today I stood on a dock and watched this boy that I had learned to love get down on one knee and ask me to marry him. We should have known that night would have been a reflection of what the rest of our life would be like. Blessed, helping each other, sweet memories, and nothing going as planned. That’s the last few years in a nutshell. When Jordan asked me to be his wife, I did not get butterflies. We just are not the mushy, gushy kind of people. Honestly, about 2 minutes after he put the ring on my finger a beautiful rainbow came out and shone right over the dock. I ran out and leaned over the edge, jumping all about over the rainbow, forgetting all about the huge diamond for a minute. It probably was a very strange engagement if anyone had been there, but it was so us! Why was I so excited about a rainbow? I just felt like God was saying that He would bless us. It was a special sign to me, that me and Jordan would be okay. That we would be will taken care of. That God was looking down on us at that moment and giving us His blessing. And through all we have gone through, God has continued to be with us so I am still thankful for that tiny, beautiful reminder!

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The night he popped the question – June 18, 2013. My parents wanted him to do it on their 25th anniversary, and today they are celebrating their 30th!!!

In these five short years nothing has gone as we once planned. From jobs to children everything we have tried to do has been turned all around. I wish I could go into details, but this just isn’t the place and also I wouldn’t have to space I need to write everything. But today I can look back on these last five years and truly wonder how did we make it? What is our next step? What does God have planned for us? So many questions, and very little answers. But I have faith that God has a bigger plan for our lives, and that my husband is the best leader for our family. With that faith I just take one day at a time and trust!

Jordan and I met at college as we were both resident assistants in our dorms. But what brought us together was the fact that we both wanted to go into ministry. One summer evening we sat at a table at Sonic. Perfect strangers, but with stories to share and those stories made Jordan pay attention to me. That’s where are relationship started.

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Our very first picture together.

We planned to be ministry partners together as he led a youth group. Well after multiple and painful attempts at getting a job we are still without a ministry at a church. Jordan is now facing having to return to school so he can get a degree in education and become a teacher. Another lifelong dream of his. We have no idea why God slammed every door in our face. We have no idea why jobs we tried for were not offered. We have no idea why we were called to ministry just to be taken on this route instead. It is a big unknown still in our life.

Of course, another big unknown is Abigail. In the midst of applying, interviewing and being turned down for countless ministry jobs we had a beautiful little girl. And that little girl has led us on a whole other journey that I have written about countless times. She is another unknown factor in our lives. Abigail comes with a huge question mark. We can’t make a lot of future plans because we simply don’t know the future. Of course, one big unknown is will we have more children. Abigail puts a damper on that decision. If her condition is genetic then we are scared to risk having another child like Abigail or even worse than Abigail. We love Abigail to pieces and we aren’t worried about having another special needs child. We are worried about our children’s quality of life. We feel it isn’t right to bring a child into this world when we know the chances of them never functioning on their own is slim. We would much rather adopt than make a child suffer in away way! It is such a big unknown, and we spend a lot of time talking and praying about it.

We have always been mature for our age, but these experiences over the last five years have aged us decades I feel. So often I feel like we have already known each other for decades instead of just the short six years it has been. When I said ‘yes’ to My Man those five years ago I had no idea our life wold look like this. I had no idea we would be living in the house my husband grew up in with a special needs child, with no ministry job and one of us would be going back to school. What a rollercoaster this journey has been with my man. And it is just beginning. We are only four years into marriage. FOUR! I cannot believe it. But through it all I have had my rock. We have helped each other laugh and cry and talk out everything. I am so thankful I have never had to do any of this alone. I have an amazing partner through it all. We truly are so blessed to have each other, and our baby, and our amazing families to love us and help us in our time of need. I am not sure what tomorrow holds. But five years ago this man asked me to do life with him, and I will always stand on that commitment. We knew within two months of dating each other that we would be married. I knew Jordan was the one I wanted to spend my life with, and I am so honored that he picked me. He put a ring on it, and we have never looked back. So here’s to many years of being thankful to saying ‘yes’ to My Man. Wherever to Lord may lead, at least He led us to each other first!

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Love walking hand in hand with this man!!

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All About Daddy

My favorite things about My Man, Jordan. The man I plan to spend the rest of my life with. My baby daddy. My rock. My support. My constant encourager. I could make other lists just about things I love about this man! But in light of Father’s Day I tried to keep them on a more fatherly note. Happy Father’s Day, everyone!!!

1) We found out I was pregnant on Jordan’s birthday. I think he loved that birthday gift. He nearly tackled me in excitement when the stick said I was pregnant. I love that he was so ready and excited to be a dad. He always has wanted kids from day one, and I am so thankful for a man who loved his children even when they were almost nonexistent.

2) “It’s a girl.”

We just looked at each other and smiled when the ultrasound tech said that. I have never seen my husband smile that big either. He wanted a girl, and still wants a houseful of them. It was definitely a great memory! A daddy of girls. He is so good with her, and I hope we have some other girls to complete his all-girls dreams.

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They took a lot of naps together in those early days!

3) That moment he cried while Abigail was having test done at a day old in the hospital. At a day old Jordan loved that 7 pound baby more than anyone else. It was stunning to me how much he loved her and I knew I would be an amazing dad.

4) All those nights he would stay up late with her while I got some rest. He was the perfect partner in those early days. I had day shift and he had nights, and would come let me nurse and then take her back downstairs again. We loved our system!

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5) Those sweet giggles only Daddy could bring out in Abigail. I posted a video of it on Facebook the other day. You will have to check it out if you haven’t yet. He could always make her laugh! Here’s the link for this video if you want to watch it. 

6) Wrestling time with daddy – Abigail loves it! She loves to crawl on him and ‘beat him up’. She loves to pull his hair and be tickled back. Of course, wrestling for Abigail means trying to desperately pull up on you while hurting you in every way possible. But it still is cute!

7) Abigail loves to tap her little hand against you. Abigail used to not want to hug Jordan. She’s getting better, but for awhile we couldn’t get her to hug him. So we started doing love taps, and it’s still the cutest thing. Abigail will crawl right up beside him and gently tap Jordan’s face or his stomach or his arm and talk to him. It’s how she wakes him up and I love it!

8) I love my twinsies. They looked alike from day 1 and still look alike today. But she has a lot of her daddy in her too. She is stubborn and independent and has the best sense of humor.

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9) These last two are my sentimental thoughts, but the way Jordan fights to support us. We have been through a lot in our four years of marriage with Jordan’s career. We have not had a lot of good ‘luck’ as some would call it. But through it all Jordan has kept working even at jobs that he should never have to work. He has fully supported us for the last two years and I am so thankful he has never quit. He just keeps going for us and I know we are both blessed by his work ethic every day!!

10) Lastly, is the way Jordan loves me. The way parents love their children reflects so much of how the child will grow up. It impacts how the child perceives love and often it impacts their relationships with their future spouses. I am thankful to have a man who loves me. Who sacrifices for us. Who has committed to me his life and love. I pray our marriage stands the tests and trials that come, and that our love can be a model to our children that a good marriage can be had. That love isn’t a feeling. And that we are simply trying to reflect God’s love to them.

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My Small Life

It’s funny how life works out isn’t it? I love planning. I plan everything months in advance and make two thousand lists of everything you can think of. Of course, I had my life planned out in 6th grade. I planned to graduate high school, go to Berry College, and get a degree in education. Then I was going to teach for a few years as I worked on my Masters of Library Sciences from UGA. I would eventually achieve my greatest dream of becoming an elementary school librarian – my dream since second grade. I can’t make this stuff up. As you see I had no aspirations of a husband or kids. Just a dream job so I thought.

Now I am married, have a kid and a degree in Christian Studies from Truett-McConnell. None of my plans came about. None. Zip. Zero. My senior year God steered me to Truett instead of Berry. Then my freshman year, He called me away from my dreams. He called me to fully trust Him. He directed me to the degree I received, and toward a blonde headed man I also married. You’ll be glad to know I have no idea what my future holds. At this point I simply have to hope God has a plan, because I weirdly don’t. I plan all the daily details, but I don’t know what five years down the road holds anymore.

Today, I lead a small life. Kathleen Kelly in You’ve Got Mail wrote this in an email, “Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life – well, valuable, but small.” I’ve always loved that quote. That’s me- a small, but valuable life. I don’t see a lot of people most days. I spend all my time with a three year old who doesn’t talk. I do a lot of talking to myself – well I’m talking to Abigail, but really to myself. I’ve gotten a lot of stares in the grocery store, but that’s okay. That’s how she will learn how to talk is by hearing words, right??

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I’m just a small town girl. A stay at home mom. A wife. A servant of God who tries to be faithful. A friend to a few. A daughter and granddaughter. Such a simple life. Some would probably say it is boring. Some would say it is pointless. Sometimes it seems useless. Sometimes I feel awful for not helping Jordan provide an income for our family. Yes, it is small. Yes, it is often not rewarding. Yes, it often goes unnoticed. Yes, it is lonely. Yes, it seems like I could be doing more. But I am thankful for my small life. The small little moments I get to have with my daughter every day. And I couldn’t even begin to express my thanks for my husband. He works hard to support us. He misses out on so much, and has made so many sacrifices just to keep working for us. He lets me pursue my dreams, and tells me to do whatever I want to do whether it’s blogging or writing a book or making crafts. He supports all my crazy dreams and he encourages me daily! He keeps me grounded when I get emotional, and helps me sort through all my millions of plans.

I never planned for my life to be like this. I honestly don’t know what the future holds. But I like my small life. I have dreams and plans, and I pray they are fulfilled. But these plans aren’t about what my future job is or making lots of money (well I never dreamed about that anyways). My dreams are more realistic now. Little seeds of hope God is planting in my hungry heart. My plans include family, and helping others. That’s my prayer now – that this small, simple life I lead will impact those around me. That I can be a servant to everyone I meet, and that our story will help someone else’s. Yes, my life is small, but it is a very blessed life that I wouldn’t trade for anything!

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I love this small life and my family!

Carry Me

I carried her inside of me for nine months. I loved being pregnant. Well, after I got past the wanting to die because I was so sick part of it then I loved it. I loved feeling her inside me and watching her wiggle around in there. I really had no problems except for being sick the first trimester. I just remember wondering what Abigail would look like the whole pregnancy. I don’t think either of us expected her to have blonde hair and blue eyes, but I’m so glad she got her daddy’s traits!!

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The day before I was induced. May 7, 2015 – last day pregnant

The first time I had to carry Abigail was hours after she was born. The hospital we had Abigail in transferred you upstairs to a mother/baby room after you finished in the labor and delivery room. They put me in a wheelchair and Jordan handled all our bags. (Our 15 bags we brought because we were so overly prepared – oops!) Then they placed that seven pound little baby in my arms – all swaddled so perfectly as any nurse in that ward can do! I honestly could think nothing else but ‘don’t drop her, don’t drop her’. I was so exhausted from giving birth I didn’t think my arms could hold her much longer. The trip upstairs lasted an eternity with me thinking my ‘hold on to this baby’ mantra the whole way. But we made it. My arms kept her safe the whole way. And now I laugh thinking about how I thought 7 pounds was heavy.
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The awful wheelchair trip. I was so tired!!

Now I still carry Abigail everywhere. I carry her to breakfast and then back upstairs to get dressed. I carry her to and from the car. I carry her so often that I don’t even think about it being odd to have to carry a three year old everywhere you go. It’s amazing how your body adapts to what you need. I am a weakling. I am not scared to admit it because it’s the truth. I have never really worked out a day in my life and I am truly okay if I never do until I die. I love to walk and swim, but the thought of working out sounds awful to me. But I have carried Abigail A LOT in the past three years (and I haven’t even dropped her once – knock on wood.) I have gotten some arm cramps, but my body has slowly adapted to carrying her around. Thankfully she gains weight slowly so my arms have time to adjust to her weight. And I am thankful my little girl is only on the 9th percentile for weight. Could you imagine if she was in the 90th? Maybe God made her small on purpose! That’s what I like to believe at least. Abigail’s weight is different than a normal toddler’s because she doesn’t support herself much at all. She is getting better, but most days she is like carrying around a sack of flour – literally. There’s no help. No give and take. It’s all of me carrying all of her. If you ask her to hold on she will kind of hug your neck for a few seconds before simply just letting go. She is just too trusting. She knows that you won’t drop her. Abigail fully relies on you to do all the work and get her where she needs to go.
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Carrying her in for a doctor’s appointment.

A lot of people say how I’m a good mom or how I always seem to be happy. I guess a lot of people wonder how I can have such a great attitude about having a child with special needs. Maybe people wonder how I can be so confident when we know so little as to why Abigail is the way she is. It’s because, like Abigail, I am also being carried. Full reliance on God has been my motto since college, and it hasn’t failed me yet. But I struggle with it daily! Oh I wish I had a childlike faith. I wish I could be as free and innocent as Abigail. But one thing I do know is that no matter what this life may throw at me, I am being carried. God won’t ever forsake me or make me doubt His goodness. He is Lord and His ways are better than my ways.
I am reminded of that famous poem that used to be so popular, “Footprints in the Sand.” I will post it below for those who need a reminder. But it is very true that in your lowest moments, God is always there. He never promises our lives will be without sorrow, heartbreak and pain. But God promises over and over in the Bible that He would never leave us or forsake us. God taught me a little object lesson once and it has always stuck with me. God always shines brighter when it is darker just as the stars always seem to increase when you get away from the lights. The darkness is often scary and very lonely, but God can show off in the darkness. When you can’t see to guide yourself then it’s time to let God guide you. When you don’t know what step to take, let God lead you. And when you don’t know how you can make it, let God carry you. When you can rely fully on Someone else then all those fears, doubts and worries seem to handle themselves. God won’t ever drop you. He won’t ever let go. Cling to Him, cry to Him, and find comfort in Him as He carries you.
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So glad I get to carry this sweet thing! We love each other so much!!!

Yes, my arms are often full! Between carrying Abigail and her bag and whatever else we may need that day it becomes a juggling act. But I love that my arms are full with a little girl who I can call mine. And God loves when we come to Him too. I know I can carry Abigail better because He has shown me how to be carried. I can love better because He has shown me how to love. And I can be the mother He has called me to be because I find my strength in Him. I am not perfect by any means, and I struggle with these truths daily, but I am learning that dependency on God is good and I am thankful for His never ending presence and His arms of love that carry me onward even when I don’t know what is ahead. At least I am being carried by Someone who will always take me where I need to go.
Footprints in the Sand

“One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.

This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”

My Partner Through it All

My blogs focus a lot around Abigail because let’s face it when you have a cute baby that people care about they want to hear about the latest updates and all the details of her development. I love sharing our story and telling about all the things I am learning and things Abigail is teaching me. But this story would not be complete, it would not even be possible, without someone I rarely talk about. Not because I don’t like that person, but because he isn’t one to draw attention to himself. He is my other half, my hubby and my best friend. Jordan isn’t mentioned a lot because this space is usually reserved for Abigail, but Jordan is who keeps our story running and tonight I thought I would share how Abigail has impacted our marriage.

In a world where the divorce rate is skyrocketing and single parenthood is so common, I am thankful I can share my story. Of course we are no experts at marriage. We only have four very short years under our belts and one kid. There are millions of other couples who could give lots better advice, but I am not here to dish out marriage advice tonight. I am simply here to share our story – our short, crazy, unplanned story.

Jordan and I met in college. If I was sitting down with you over smoothies (I hate coffee, so I’m saying smoothies) I would give way to many details about the beginning of our relationship which mostly include him thinking I was a crazy weirdo (he still thinks that too) and me thinking he was too popular and cool to be with the likes of little old me. But since I’m not sharing our dating life, let’s just say it’s a miracle we ever made it to the girlfriend/boyfriend stage. However we did, and then 6 weeks into dating I nearly died. I might be exaggerating a little, but I did have a freak bleeding episode and had a 2 night stay in the hospital that included 4 blood transfusions, 5 IVs and a surgery so it was pretty intense. But my boyfriend of only 6 weeks stayed with me through it all. Well that brought us pretty close pretty fast. Only 2 weeks after my hospital stay Jordan told me he loved me. He said, “as I watched you laying on that hospital bed the only thing I could think was, ‘my girlfriend is going to die,’ and that thought actually made me sad.” That’s Jordan for you. He is a very romantic and sympathetic man as you can see. But it all worked out for me because I caught me a man and that man became my husband a little over a year after that.

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I tell that whole story to say that maybe God brings medical cases into our lives to wake us up and help us realize something. He used my hospital stay to bring me and Jordan together, and now He is using Abigail and all her disabilities to build our family. Did I want to bleed to death to get a guy to fall in love with me? No! Do I want my daughter to have special needs so our family can be shaped and molded a certain way? Of course not. But God is using Abigail to teach us so much.

I am thankful to have Jordan walking this road with me. We have been through a lot with Abigail as any parent has been with their child. We have heard multiple doctors assessments of her, we have had multiple strangers praise her beauty, we have seen her progress leaps and bounds. We have seen her with needles and wires all about her and in her. We have held each other when we both have had to cry. Jordan keeps me sane when this world feels out of control. When I get all emotional, he keeps me steady and level-headed. He is my solid rock, my listening ear and my loyal companion. While I stay home with Abigail and work with her and deal with all her doctors and therapists, Jordan makes all that possible and he helps me be a better mom.

Having a child will impact your marriage. Children change you life in so many ways. We only had 6 short months of marriage before we found out we were pregnant. I didn’t think I was cut out to be a mom. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but we survived. Thankfully God gave us the easiest baby in the universe so Abigail made it easy. But no parent wants to hear there’s something wrong with their baby, and that’s all we have heard from doctors from 2 months on. There’s an issue with her eyes, there’s an issue with her muscle tone, there’s an issue with this or that. But no one can tell us why those issues are there. But through it all I have had a partner and a best friend. Jordan has experienced it all with me. Our marriage has been forged deeper because of all this. When we have had no one else we have had each other.

Children impact every part of you. They impact relationships and they impact your marriage. Some parents build their lives around their children and not their marriage which is devastating. Some marriages break up when one spouse or the other finds out their child will never be ‘normal’. There are thousands of reasons marriages don’t make it. But when calamity strikes, when you receive that bad news you never want to hear, when the world just seems too much to handle – I couldn’t imagine doing it alone. I am thankful our marriage has survived this so far, and I pray it continues to stand strong. I love living life with my best friend! I love always having a friend to talk to. I love my husband and our little family of three.

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Our Christmas Sloth

We have a Christmas tradition in our house that started when I was just a child. Every year my mom would let my brother and I pick out our own Christmas ornaments to hang on the tree. Then when we got married she gave all our ornaments to us. Well I wanted to do this when Jordan and I got married, but I wanted ornaments that reflected the year before. Then Abigail came along and I had to start buying her ornaments too.

I’m usually on top of things – like I know what ornament to get in October, but this year I just couldn’t find the right one for Abigail. I knew I wanted to get her an ornament that represented her getting her little pink glasses. That was a big thing for her this year, and what people know her for. But they don’t sell a lot of ornaments with glasses on them. So my next plan was to buy a pink pair of kids shades and pop the lenses out and tie them to our tree. Well can you say tacky?? Okay, so then I thought I would buy a cute animal ornament that reminded me of Abigail and buy some wire and attach pink glasses to said animal. Now that would be cute I thought, so now what animal reminds me of Abigail? I had no idea. I texted Jordan at work and right about the time he responded I thought about a sloth. Two minutes later he replied with sloth. Wow! We hadn’t even talked about it and we both thought the same thing. So I got on Etsy and found a shop that sold little felt sloths. The owner even put little pink glasses on the sloth after I told her what I wanted. It’s one of my favorite ornaments on our tree now. My little Abigail sloth!

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See the similarities between her and the sloth behind her? Such a perfect picture for this!

But why is Abigail like a sloth? I googled sloths and learned some cool facts about them and I have 10 ways Abigail is just like a sloth. They made me laugh so enjoy!! And Merry Christmas…I’ll be here admiring our little sloth ornament.

 

  • Sloths are slow. Everyone knows that, but what’s is funny is that sloths are pretty useless when they are on the ground. That’s why they stay in the trees all the time, but once a week they have to get down to go to the bathroom and that is when they are most likely to be ate because their long claws that help them navigate the trees, make them obsolete on the ground. Abigail can relate. She is pretty obsolete on the ground too. Sure she can wiggle and pull herself around slowly, but don’t expect her to be winning any marathons with her sloth-like movements.
  • Who has ever seen a picture of an ugly sloth? They are all so cute! And Abigail is no exception to this sloth rule. Everywhere she goes she gets compliments of her beauty.
  • This one made me laugh, but sloths only poop once a week. It has something to do with their slow metabolism. But gosh, we struggle with Abigail’s bowel movements all the time. Since she never is up or moving I swear her little bowels hate her, poor thing.
  • Contrary to popular belief, sloths in the wild don’t really sleep that often. They sleep about 10 hours a day. Abigail also does not sleep that often either. She is getting better in her new bed, but bedtimes are a struggle around here.
  • Sloths can turn their heads like an owl because they are missing two vertebras in their neck, so that makes them pretty flexible. I have never seen a more flexible kid than Abigail. Her PT always says things like I am not sure this is the right way for her to move, but she seems to be able to do it so lets go with it. She can reach the top of their head with her toes. When I put jackets on Abigail I swear I bend her arm backwards, but she doesn’t seem to mind. If she were ever able to I would love to put her in gymnastics!
  • Sloths are not social creatures. They live alone unless it is time to mate. Abigail is social to adults, but not to children. She would be okay being the only kid in the room at all times. Maybe she is just a little jealous of them too.
  • Baby sloths are very attached to their mothers. They stay together up to four years before the baby sloth separates from them. Gosh, I feel for that mom. Abigail and I have a strong attachment. I cannot even leave the room before she starts crying missing me. She literally goes everywhere I go.
  • Sloths are only 25% muscle. I feel like that’s Abigail. Her poor little muscles have caused us issues from day one. Whether it’s her eyes, her legs, or her core it’s all a muscle thing.
  • Sloths are tiny for being mammals. They just don’t get that big, and I don’t think Abigail every will get big either. She has always been in the 5-10 percentile of her weight. And her feet and hands are the tiniest little things.
  • A sloth’s facial coloring makes it look like they are always smiling. And Abigail is always smiling. I don’t know how or why but she is. Even this weekend after throwing up about 8 times in a row she still laughed in the doctor’s office! That’s our little sloth!!

My Man

Back when we were just children in the stages of liking each other I once told this boy that I thought I could follow him anywhere. After just knowing him for a short period of time I knew this kid could be trusted. Then less than two years later I was looking at that kid right in the face and promising to be his forever until death do us part in front of God and man. I call us kids back then because even though it has only been three and a half short years I feel ancient. We have always been two mature individuals, but the last few years has aged us.

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My handsome groom on the day I married him! I am so thankful he picked me!

I met Jordan at college when we were both resident assistants. I caught his attention with my weird testimony and he caught mine when he paid attention to my amazing athletic skills on the volleyball court. I am kidding about the athletic skills by the way, but when there’s a cute boy out there who is willing to laugh at you then you go play whether you stink or not right? Well at least he saw something in me, and to this day I am still not sure what that is. Our relationship moved fast. We lived on a tiny school campus and within two months we knew we would be married. I had a near death experience and that boy I only had been dating for maybe six weeks stayed by my side in the hospital. It truly was the experience that changed our relationship I think.

But here we are almost four years into marriage and he is my best friend. I have learned a lot about him and a lot about marriage. Things like we cannot have the same blankets and that he is truly a nerd on the inside. Things like boys and girls are very different. Things like what unconditional love truly is, and how it feels to be in a partnership with someone. Things like how selfish I am, and how Jordan never cries even when Mufasa is plummeting to his death. And so many more things I could not even begin to list.

This man is loyal through and through. He works so hard for us so I can stay home and take care of Abigail. But even after a long day of working two jobs he still comes home and spends time with his family. Jordan is not a man of much emotion, but that little girl

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One of my all time favorite pictures of these two. They used to look just alike, but he just adores her!

of his brings out the worst in him, as he would say. I have seen him cry over her (which is a truly rare event). I have seen him laugh and smile like he never does with anyone else. She may not always reciprocate the love, but I know that man would move mountains for his little girl if she needed him to. Jordan is our strong rock, and when my emotions are everywhere I know I have him to steady me. He is my encourager and my personal comedian. He can make me laugh more than anyone.

Most of all though Jordan is my race buddy. The Bible tells us we are in a race. In Hebrews 12 it reads, Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” And I am thankful I do not have to run this race of life alone. I have a partner every step of the way. He has experienced the same exact things I have and we have held hands through every disappointment, every failure, and every step along the way. I am excited to continue to run along beside him. Sure we will see a lot together – the good, the bad and the ugly, but I am so excited to grow old with my best friend. I once told him I could follow him anywhere, and that’s what I plan to do. I will follow him as he follows God. And wherever God may lead us we will be together. 

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