My blogs focus a lot around Abigail because let’s face it when you have a cute baby that people care about they want to hear about the latest updates and all the details of her development. I love sharing our story and telling about all the things I am learning and things Abigail is teaching me. But this story would not be complete, it would not even be possible, without someone I rarely talk about. Not because I don’t like that person, but because he isn’t one to draw attention to himself. He is my other half, my hubby and my best friend. Jordan isn’t mentioned a lot because this space is usually reserved for Abigail, but Jordan is who keeps our story running and tonight I thought I would share how Abigail has impacted our marriage.
In a world where the divorce rate is skyrocketing and single parenthood is so common, I am thankful I can share my story. Of course we are no experts at marriage. We only have four very short years under our belts and one kid. There are millions of other couples who could give lots better advice, but I am not here to dish out marriage advice tonight. I am simply here to share our story – our short, crazy, unplanned story.
Jordan and I met in college. If I was sitting down with you over smoothies (I hate coffee, so I’m saying smoothies) I would give way to many details about the beginning of our relationship which mostly include him thinking I was a crazy weirdo (he still thinks that too) and me thinking he was too popular and cool to be with the likes of little old me. But since I’m not sharing our dating life, let’s just say it’s a miracle we ever made it to the girlfriend/boyfriend stage. However we did, and then 6 weeks into dating I nearly died. I might be exaggerating a little, but I did have a freak bleeding episode and had a 2 night stay in the hospital that included 4 blood transfusions, 5 IVs and a surgery so it was pretty intense. But my boyfriend of only 6 weeks stayed with me through it all. Well that brought us pretty close pretty fast. Only 2 weeks after my hospital stay Jordan told me he loved me. He said, “as I watched you laying on that hospital bed the only thing I could think was, ‘my girlfriend is going to die,’ and that thought actually made me sad.” That’s Jordan for you. He is a very romantic and sympathetic man as you can see. But it all worked out for me because I caught me a man and that man became my husband a little over a year after that.
I tell that whole story to say that maybe God brings medical cases into our lives to wake us up and help us realize something. He used my hospital stay to bring me and Jordan together, and now He is using Abigail and all her disabilities to build our family. Did I want to bleed to death to get a guy to fall in love with me? No! Do I want my daughter to have special needs so our family can be shaped and molded a certain way? Of course not. But God is using Abigail to teach us so much.
I am thankful to have Jordan walking this road with me. We have been through a lot with Abigail as any parent has been with their child. We have heard multiple doctors assessments of her, we have had multiple strangers praise her beauty, we have seen her progress leaps and bounds. We have seen her with needles and wires all about her and in her. We have held each other when we both have had to cry. Jordan keeps me sane when this world feels out of control. When I get all emotional, he keeps me steady and level-headed. He is my solid rock, my listening ear and my loyal companion. While I stay home with Abigail and work with her and deal with all her doctors and therapists, Jordan makes all that possible and he helps me be a better mom.
Having a child will impact your marriage. Children change you life in so many ways. We only had 6 short months of marriage before we found out we were pregnant. I didn’t think I was cut out to be a mom. Neither of us knew what we were doing, but we survived. Thankfully God gave us the easiest baby in the universe so Abigail made it easy. But no parent wants to hear there’s something wrong with their baby, and that’s all we have heard from doctors from 2 months on. There’s an issue with her eyes, there’s an issue with her muscle tone, there’s an issue with this or that. But no one can tell us why those issues are there. But through it all I have had a partner and a best friend. Jordan has experienced it all with me. Our marriage has been forged deeper because of all this. When we have had no one else we have had each other.
Children impact every part of you. They impact relationships and they impact your marriage. Some parents build their lives around their children and not their marriage which is devastating. Some marriages break up when one spouse or the other finds out their child will never be ‘normal’. There are thousands of reasons marriages don’t make it. But when calamity strikes, when you receive that bad news you never want to hear, when the world just seems too much to handle – I couldn’t imagine doing it alone. I am thankful our marriage has survived this so far, and I pray it continues to stand strong. I love living life with my best friend! I love always having a friend to talk to. I love my husband and our little family of three.